Fuck Them Goddamn Lights

You’re probably in for a long one, for one simple reason, it appears my asshat roomie neglected to pay the electric bill so they shut it off. So I now have to entertain myself until my computer dies. It says I have 2 hours remaining. Which, if that lasts, means it should die around the time I can potentially fall asleep. Granted, you won’t be getting this until I get a chance to actually get back on the internet, but you can feel my pain at a later date. I’m pissed at this for several reasons.

One, we both split the rent evenly…$400 for rent and water apiece.
Two, I give him an extra $100 for utilities.
Three, he has the larger room and therefore it was entrusted in him that he would pay a larger portion of the bills.
Four, he calls me to tell me the power is out and it was because he was low on funds (being out of a job). Not to mention, because I’ve worked side jobs to help cover my share yesterday, today, tomorrow, and Thursday, all I really wanted to do was come home and take a shower. When he calls me what does he say? “You might want to stay at your parents tonight.” That annoys me for the simple fact that this is “my place,” I shouldn’t have to stay at my parents.
Five, other then rent and water the only bills we split would therefore be electric and internet. We don’t have cable. He has a phone line that I don’t use so I’m not including that. That’s it.
Six, so where the fuck does my $100 go? While I realize that’s not enough to cover a usual electric bill, again, he was to take over the majority of the bills in exchange for me having a room with barely a walking path.
Seven, being “low on funds” how the fuck does he pay his car payment, motorcycle payment, student loans and still manage to leave everyday (I.e. gas in his car) and buy groceries every other day to fit his fucking diet, and pay for a gym membership? Plus, be picky about what job he takes. Fucking take a job and then find the one you want. FYI…he got a new job and started this week.

Do you see what I’m getting at? I’m really confused right now. Most weeks I go to work and come home. Why? Because I can’t afford to put gas in my car. Most weeks I have no food in the apt. Why? Because I can’t afford to go to the grocery store. Even if I did it would be cans of food for like 30 cents or Rammen noodles. I suppose I could have these things but I prefer to go out whenever I can. However, when I go out I go out for specials. When I drink at my work it’s a $1 beer. When I go to Sidelines on Sunday’s its $3 24oz Budweisers and because I know the bartender I get rang up every other one. When I go to Bullfrogz its for bring you own mug and fill it with Natty for $1 or $12 all you can drink Bud Light. Last week it cost me more to fill my car with gas then go drink at two bars.

You know what that side job is? Fucking digging up tree stumps. I’m digging up goddamn tree stumps (and building a rock wall) to make sure I have money to cover rent. Two more hours tomorrow and that’s done. Going back on Thursday so I can…what’s that? Fucking put gas in my car.

I thought I was bad with money. All things considered though, I appear to be doing well. I don’t owe anyone anything. I am not in debt. I do not own a credit card. I don’t have a car payment. I paid for every semester of school up front, in cash, with money I’d saved up working.

It appears my complaint of wanting a new job may be forced upon me. From what the rumor mill is saying the owner can’t pay the rent, in fact he didn’t pay it last month (we’ve also heard he’s been keeping all the taxes that he takes out of our paychecks). Guess he should have thought ahead before he bought a five bedroom house (for just him and his wife) or got that girlfriend. But of course we’re not hearing this from him, we heard it from the landlord…our old boss. It appears the new boss doesn’t want to tell us until I come to work one day to find the doors locked and no one home. Won’t that be fun?

Thing is…I don’t know what I want to do. I do know that I don’t want to cook. Fuck cooking. I’ve been cooking for seven years now and have hated five of those seven. I also know I’m not very good with the corporate thing. See…I hate uniforms. I hate dress codes. I hate shaving. I’m not very good at dealing with idiots. I once looked at my boss one day when he said I cooked something wrong and went, “Do I look like a fucking idiot? Do I? Is that what you’re trying to say. Let me ask you a question, do you know how to fucking cook it? Who has been doing this for seven years?” He ducked his head and walked out the door. When I worked at Ted‘s they looked at my tattoos and told me I had to keep them covered, I looked at them and went, “I‘m a fucking cook.” That job lasted all of 3 ½ months. When I worked at Walden Books they told me I had to wear khaki pants…I came in wearing khaki UFO‘s. They didn‘t like that. Then again we each had a section that we were supposed to maintain. The books were supposed to be straightened, the floor vacuumed, new books stocked, old books taken out. We were supposed to not clock off until 10:30pm. I would do all of my side work while I worked and be done by 9:30pm…what would I do? Plop in a corner and read a book. Their response, “If you‘re done with your section go and help someone else.” My response, “Why? I‘ve made sure I got done with mine quickly. Why do I need to go help some fucking slackass? No one helped me.” That job lasted 3 months. *sigh* I suppose if it comes down to it I will. I just don’t want to. Now I’m back to the original thought, I don’t know what I want to do. All I know is for once I would like to go to work somewhat happy and leave with more money in my pocket. Someone suggested I go back to bouncing. I did that from the time I was 17 to 20. Here’s why I don’t want to go back to that. Shitty hours, shitty pay. You work from like 8pm-3am and make $8 an hour. I had a friend who suggested I get a job with them…they write computer program manuals…I think I would make it four hours at that job before I got up and left. Of course, who is to say I will even find a fucking job? Like any job…literally. I also kind of feel that I would suck at a desk job. I can’t just sit at a desk and work (I don’t consider writing work…sue me), after cooking so long…and bouncing…and working at Walden…I’m used to staying on my feet. Its also likely a reason why I’m not 400lbs…of course that could be because I don’t buy food and tend to stick to a liquid diet. I’ve thought about being a Park Ranger, however, it appears you have to go to school for that. Why? I don’t know. I think it would be nice to be outside all day and carry a gun. I thought about being a firefighter, but I talked to a guy who has tried to get into the program five years in a row now and can’t get in, he’s even in better shape than me. Cop? Yeah no. Private Security? I thought about that too but I have no idea how to even go about it. Not to mention from what I hear they like to hire military and ex-military. I think I would make one hell of a bodyguard…shit, I can shoot a gun and intimidate the fuck outta people. Again, don’t know how to get into that.

This is driving me nuts not being able to get online. Ahhhhhhh!!! I feel so disconnected. Damn’t. Getting online at the end of my day is one of my highlights. Especially this week when I am working twice everyday. I like getting online and checking out Pajiba. The other blogs you fucks have posted. Facebook. IMDB. DeviantArt. It’s like my stress reliever. Now that I don’t have that…or alcohol…I’m getting really annoyed. I could check all of these on my phone, however, the battery will die and then I will have no alarm clock to get up to go to work tomorrow.

FUCK…I can’t wait to take this trip. Does anyone else have any suggestions on where I should go when I go to Washington. I can probably explore up to a couple of hours outside of Seattle. I will be able to wander off on my own occasionally so if there is anything around my age that would be awesome to. Say an age range of 25-35. I’m also on the hunt for any cool bars. While a DUI in another state would suck, I wouldn’t object to going out for a couple. The other night I drank 10 without even a buzz. I should probably slow down so my tolerance will lower. Drinking will start to get expensive.

WAIT…I totally remembered that I have my GrandPa’s alarm clock. The thing didn’t work for shit last time I tried it but fuck it, I’m going to get on Facebook on my phone. By the way, its like this old wind up alarm clock. Thus why I don’t need electricity.

My cat, Bella Morte, is staring at me…in the candlelight…it’s kind of freaking me out.

I was looking through pictures the other day of ex-girlfriends and there were a couple I wanted to post on here. I was wondering what the odds would be that they would A)Find out and B) whether or not they would be pissed. They are fantastic pictures, not distasteful. I kind of wanted ya’ll to see why my friends say, “How the fuck did you end up with her?” For some reason I tend to date women that appear outside of my social class. Not to mention I like em tiny. I don’t think I ever dated a girl over 5’ 6” now messed around with? 6’3” I’m not into the tall chicks, but she (who is now a fairly good friend), is one cool chick. It’s just weird laying in the same bed with someone and having our feet touch fully stretched out. For a few seconds I felt like I was laying in bed with a man. A man with shaved legs and large breasts, but a man none the less. She also has hair that goes down to her ass…that’s fairly feminine as well. She had a huge crush on me…I couldn’t reciprocate it, now she’s engaged. Go figure.

It’s starting to get fairly cold in this apt.

I wanted to text someone and couldn’t figure anyone who would be awake at 2am that I wouldn’t mind bothering. I suppose I could have stayed at a friends house tonight but like I said, “my place,” and I like sleeping in my own bed. I also really want another cigarette but seeing as how I’m laying in bed in my boxers, I doubt I’m gonna do that.

I’m going to quit bothering ya’ll now. Congrats to those who actually made it to the end. It appears I like to ramble when I have nothing else to do.

Update: One of our waitresses quit and she told the bosses wife everything…like…everything.