Monday, October 5, 2009

Zombies & A Sneak Peek Of "The" Jibette

Jesus Fucking Christ on a goddamn bloody popsicle stick. So in just my last blog entry, yeah, the very last one I wrote, I discussed how I finally deleted the X’s pictures and hide her status updates on face book. Well guess what? As soon as I did that she upped her comments. No really. Most of the time she would comment on like one thing I posted in the course of a week. Lately, its like every other fucking post. Really? Really? But wait, it gets better.

So yesterday I got off work, then went and did more work so I could get up the money for rent that was due today. Pulled that off! Now I just need to do some work so I can put gas in my car, buy cigarettes, and maybe go out once this week. Anyway, I get done with that work and then head back up to the restaurant to drink. Why? Because I’d paid my tab and could start a new one that’s why. Plus, I get dollar beers there. So I drink, a lot, then my friend gets off work and asks me if I want to go to the bar. I explain that I don’t have any money, he says, “So what? I gotcha.” That works for me. Literally as soon as I walk into the bar a friend of the x runs up to me and gives me a big hug and goes, “Yay. I just turned 21!” I was like “Yay! Now its all downhill and you’re just waiting to die!” She laughed and walked away. We go up to the bar, get a pitcher, and as we’re walking to a corner to sit and drink who appears right in front of me? The X.

Really? Really? She smiles and is all like, “Hey, how are you doing? We’re all sitting over here!” She points to the only open place at the bar where we were about to sit. “Great!” I fake a smile and we go over and sit. What happens? Not a goddamn thing. I think she may have come over once and talked to me for a bit but to be honest I started chugging liberally. I do know I started making fun of her midget fiancĂ©e, because I remember Steven laughing his ass off.

Any other news going on with me? Well…

I finally told the Jibette how I feel about her. Well, I guess I didn’t really blatantly tell her, I wrote a poem. I was going to put up said poem on facebook and here but now I don’t think I want to. The first poem I wrote about her, the “Ode to a Jibette,” originally got read as an ode to all of the Jibette’s which I found remarkably entertaining. I put that one up because, well, it was playful. I wrote that one around a few weeks after we started talking, so I was in high spirits. I was feeling playful. This poem is much more serious, more heartfelt. I don’t know, I almost feel that it would demean it to post it. Even though I would like to shout how I feel about her to the world. Let me see if I can explain it exactly.

I’ve never met her. I’ve never talked to her. I’ve never heard her voice. I’ve never looked into her eyes. I’ve never touched her skin. I’ve never smelled her perfume. However, she is the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep. She’s the one thing that can make me smile everyday. Take right now for instance. I’m hungover, dirt poor, lonely, yet right now I’m also talking to her on facebook and have a smile on my face. Its like she makes me not have a care in the world. Crazy huh? I know it sounds crazy to me. To be in love with someone I don’t even really know. But I think that is one of the greatest things about it to me. Every relationship I’ve been in I’ve fallen for a girl physically before mentally. This one, is all mental. Not to say she isn’t…ummm…very attractive. Because she is. I’ve just never actually been able to “fall” for her physically. You know what would be fucked up…I feel this way about her, imagine if we finally meet and can’t stand each other. That would piss me the fuck off. Why? Because I’m not even attracted to anyone around here. Hahaha. Literally. My mind has almost shut itself off in the sense that it considers me in a relationship. I have no interest in anyone around me. I’m not looking. Even if I see someone that is my type I don’t even have any desire to talk to them. I’m trying to maintain the notion and let her know that I’m not just interested in a “friend” aspect. I think its obvious. I could talk about her all day…my friends have started rolling their eyes when I mention her. On that note, I’m going to stop now.

I missed Zombie Walk goddamn’t. I couldn’t take the time off work. My friend said there were around 400 people. They went through a cemetery. Ran through Underground Atlanta. They would swarm cars that stopped at red lights. Scared children. Blocked traffic. Ahhhhhh. To be a zombie. The picture at the top was from Zombie Walk.

I don’t know what I’m going to do today/tonight. I was supposed to go work again for some more money but its working outside and of course it fucking rained all last night. There goes that idea. I’m thinking of going to the bar. However, I have no money and only a couple of cigarettes. I don’t know if its worth it or not. I will probably end up going. I have nothing better to do. Plus it will allow me to watch Monday Night Football. I can’t wait to see Favre play against the Packers. What a fucking idiot. I hope the Packer D gives him a career ending injury. That would be fitting don’t you think?

I’m rambling. I know I am. I’m going to stop now.

1 comment:

  1. I know exactly how you feel. I met someone online when I was in college and fell pretty hard for her. The problem was that she was 27 (when I was 19), lived in Ohio, was engaged, and had no real interest in me other than being a friend and a tease. She's the first girl I ever said "I love you" to.

    The saddest part of the whole thing is that she was never dishonest with me and never lead me on in any way. I broke my own damn heart because I was too in love with an e-person to see what was in front of my face.

    I still talk to her occasionally, but thankfully I am older, wiser, and a lot more realistic. Ugh.

    That was depressing, and I don't mean to discourage you. It sounds like you have a good thing building.

    As for the zombie thing, we have the world's largest zombie walk/pub crawl this weekend. They're expecting five thousand or so. I won't be able to go, because we're having my niece's birthday party on Saturday. That and I wasn't lying on Facebook about not having a babysitter.