It’s nights like this that I wish I had someone lying in bed with me. Fuck. Anyway, I turned down free beer, free gas, and sex tonight. Why? I don’t know. Any other man would have jumped at that opportunity on a Friday night. I didn’t want it. I’m tired of having sex with no emotional attachment. It’s just fucking, and it gets old. BLARGH I will refuse to be depressed!!! So what have I done instead? I fucked around on the internet a bit, then I watched 4 episodes of “Warehouse 13,” followed by about 10 minutes of Chronos (which I’m assuming I need to be high to watch) and then I settled down with Gas Pump Girls circa 1979. What did I discover, more tits in any film I’ve ever seen. I mean tits for no reason. Tits of various sizes. Just tits.
Plot: It starts at high school graduation for a group of friends, that includes tits. From there it carries to the main characters uncle not being able to compete with a rival gas station. When uncle is out of the picture with a mild heart attack. She, along with the help of her 4 friends remake the gas station complete with tits. Yep. Skimpy outfits and a porn voice luring people in over a loudspeaker. Rival gas station runner, Mr. Friendly, tries to stop them in multiple ways but those pesky teenagers always win. End with the uncle getting Mr. Friendly’s job.
Actors: Kirsten Baker, Linda Lawrence, Sandy Johnson, Rikki Marin, Leslie King (the only one not to get nude and the whole movie I was waiting for it, she had the best body) only guy of note is Ken Lerner who has some 123 credits to his name.
Dir and Writer: Joel Bender who also wrote the screenplay for the 1981 film A Girl's Best Friend starring Ron Jeremy and Juliet Anderson. Guess what kind of movie that was.
Cast Credits: I skimmed the best from the females. Friday the 13th Part 2, Teen Lust, The Last Word, "The Incredible Hulk", Halloween , Surfer Girls, The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, Cheech & Chong's Next Movie, Nice Dreams,"Chips,“ Cheerleaders' Naughty Weekend.
Highlights Tits, within the first 5 minutes of the movie. Tits, at least every 10 minutes in the rest of the movie. The film is complete with a musical number from the main character June that has no reason being in it. Oh, a dance number in front of a crowd…for no reason. A motorcycle group of “bad boy” youths called the “Vultures” complete with stupid gang sign. That motorcycle gang also goes from being mean to them to helping them (they actually end up working as their toe truck operators). You have the regular ditzy girl who gives the blowjobs and is actually happy that she stood topless in front of her entire graduating class and their families. The pretty one that looks like an old school version of Denise Richards that is the voice of logic. She tells them not to give boys everything they want at the start because if you wait you can make them do anything for you. The gas was like 80 cents a gallon. Did I mention tits? Various skimpy costumes. I just recalled that there is actually no sex…the most is an implied blowjob scene. Wow.
Verdict: If you’re bored and have no life…go for it.