Monday, August 17, 2009

10 Things I Hate About You-The TV Show

So I must be a glutton for punishment. You would have thought that after watching that fucking atrocity called “Merlin” I would have learned my lesson of punishing myself. Nope, last night, bored and feeling a little lost in the world I decided to watch the “10 Things I Hate About You” TV show. Yeah not the movie, the TV show. I not only watched the pilot, but two other episodes that were on HULU…fuck you HULU, its your fault, I’m blaming you. Anyway, why was it crap? Lets break it down by character, then I’ll assault the story.

Kat Stratford
Movie: Julia Stiles
Show: Lindsey Shaw
Difference: Kat played by Julia Stiles was cute and intelligent. Even when she made an asshole comment she always seemed to be smiling on the inside. She used her intelligence to outplay anyone that came against her. Kat played by Lindsey Shaw is a bitch. Her attacks only come off as being an asshole, not an intellectual who is smarter then you. Plus, she plays the character like a bulldyke. She is wholly un-feminine. Even thought the Julia Stiles Kat was a feminist she was still feminine. Shaw is just a butch fem-Nazi. The scene where she stares down Verona in the show is a perfect example.

Bianca Stratford
Movie: Larisa Oleynik
Show: Meaghan Jette Martin
Difference: Larisa played Bianca with a certain edge of wit. She wasn’t a complete dumbass, in fact, towards the end of the film you can see the intelligence that lies under her sister is underneath her to. She just chooses to play dumb. Plus she was cute without trying. Meaghan on the other hand plays Bianca as a complete dumbass. There isn’t any intelligence in there at all. The bitch is just stupid, and her only goal is to be one of the “popular” girls. Even so much as to be the mascot on the cheerleading team. She’s not even really that cute. I don’t know when “cute” became 70lbs. The scene where she does the “ass pop” perfect…yeah.

Patrick Verona
Movie: Heath Ledger
Show: Ethan Peck
Difference: Ledger was…well…Ledger. He was cool, cocky, charming, intimidating, and…handsome. Not to mention the accent that kept him out of place from the rest of the cast. He was everything he needed to be for the role. Ethan Peck on the other hand…none of these. Even when he gives glaring looks at people to scare them he isn’t scary. He’s just a somewhat pretty boy who is fucking terrible. They apparently didn’t have him speak the first like 20 minutes of the pilot and the whole time I was going, “Say he doesn’t have an accent.” Thankfully, they didn’t try to pull that one off. Example, again, see the first real stare down between Verona and Bianca in the show.

Cameron James
Movie: Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Show: Nicholas Braun
Difference: JGL had that whole boyish, nerdy, shy, thing going for him as Cameron. He was cute, somewhat gay, and flirtatious. Braun, ain’t shit. No really, he’s got nothing. He sounds like a guy trying to go through puberty and he is beyond “retarded” love for Bianca. At one point Verona looks at him and tells him his problem with girls is that his balls haven’t dropped yet. He answers him in a high pitched/cracking voice. Stupid. Example, the first time he talks to Bianca…or, fuck that, every time he speaks in general.

Walter Stratford
Movie: Larry Miller
Show: Larry Miller
Difference: Yep…same dude. He is one of the only redeeming qualities of the show. Because, well, he is the dad.

The stories/plots of the episodes. *sigh* There are times where it is a blatant rip-off of the movie. Cameron tutoring Bianca in French. Verona and Kat having some weird outsiders connection. Some strange connection between Cameron and Verona. The hate dynamic between Bianca and Kat. Its based on the movie…no really…so some of that shit makes sense. What doesn’t make sense? Changing characters for no reason or making them over the top. I’m looking at you Chastity. Or turning a character that had a possibility of having a relationship, Michael and Mandella, into one that would be awkward on screen. Not to mention the updates on references. Kat at one point compares a moment to “The Bachelor,” really? One of her most enduring qualities of the movie was her references to old school knowledge…not modern reality tv shows. There was a point when Kat compares Bianca to Kim Jong-Il. There is another when, no lie, Bianca wants money so her and a friend make a webcam (with the help of Cameron) that was just supposed to be a chat show discussing their lives. It only has one viewer until Bianca gets an itch on her back and the other girl starts to scratch it, the viewers eventually jumps to like 16. What do they learn? Ohh shit, sex sells. So then the next night they plan a “kiss.” Yeah, and they do it, until her dad walks in. When they get to school Chastity is pissed at them, for not allowing the other cheerleaders to join. What does that tell you? “Hey, its no fair that you get to make a sex tape and we don’t.” What does that also say to the audience. Hey teenage girls, you’ll be popular with the boys with sex, because hey, sex sells.” Stupid fucking dribbling shit. Another example of that same thing, when Chastity asks Joey a question and he says “Don’t worry, I haven’t shown anyone the tape we made.“ Fuck you “10 Things I Hate About You,” I’m going to watch your predecessor now and see how its supposed to be done!

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