Monday, July 20, 2009

How Did I Not Wake Up With A Hangover?


I think I drank a twelve pack of Bud Light and a half a handle of Pomegranate Martini last night. I don’t remember drinking that much, then again I don’t know why I woke up naked. Anyway, I wasn’t planning on drinking that much, it just happened. First, let me tell you how I got that Bud Light.

Saturday night a group of my friends who live together had a Zombie Party, you were supposed to come dressed up as a zombie. If you didn’t they had a make-up booth set up in the corner of the dining room and would do it for you. I chose the latter, but made sure to wear my shirt that simply says, zombie. So after a while Jenn and her sister Kat (the make-up girls) got too drunk to do it anymore. Some of the people who showed up did it themselves, most just said fuck it. I knew most of the people there, one that I didn’t know was apparently talking shit about me, just never when I was near him, another was this annoying fucking emo kid. Well, the beer came from the annoying emo kid. Frank had got the first 30 pack of Budweiser, I had provided the second 30 pack of Budweiser, and when I noticed that was low I saw this 30 pack of Bud Light. I went to reach for it and emo kid goes, “Hey.” I say hey back and continue to reach for it.
“That’s my beer, what are you doing.”
“I’m about to put it in the fridge we’re running low.”
“I didn’t say you could drink my beer.”
Balls for an emo kid, but I look down and see a Budweiser in his hand.
“I didn’t say you could drink my beer.”
“They said anything here was fair game.”
“Exactly, like the beer I’m about to put in the fridge.”
I look at him and smile, then walk away. A little later I hear him arguing with JT, one of the guys who live there.
“There was another bottle of rum where did it go?” -Emo Kid
“I hid it, its my bottle, I want something to drink tomorrow.” (they had gone through 5 bottles of liquor already)
“I want a shot.”
“I don’t care go get your own bottle.”
“Liquor stores aren’t open now.”
“So give me a shot.”
“Fuck off.”
He walks away, and the emo kid follows him. I went outside and smoked a cigarette, came back in and see the kid still talking to JT, I look over and see his beer sitting there. I grab it, walk out the door, and go home. Sunday beers for me.

So the Sunday drinking (I‘m saying it like it was days ago, it was last night)…I pulled a double at work. I hate working doubles. Spending 12+ hours in a kitchen fucking sucks. Then I start texting the girl I was “seeing?” She had said Thursday that she didn’t think we should date, I have no idea where it came from considering I was there at 4 in the morning fucking her. Anyway, the last couple of days I had been trying to convince her to change her mind (we hadn’t even been on a ‘date’ yet).

She basically makes no sense. She says she likes me, that she thinks I’m cute, and that I’m a wonderful guy. Yet she can’t date me. She told me that I’m basically her fantasy guy and that she couldn’t see it going anywhere in the long run.

Again, we haven’t even been on a date.

She says that we are too opposite, we don’t have enough in common, that we are too different.

Yet again, we haven’t even gone on a date.

I really know jack shit about her other then she can have sex for hours and likes pain. Two thumbs up from me. I don’t know how she was making all of these assumptions without even really knowing me. My roomie said it was because she was a ’professional,’ a degree, a career, a house and I’m a line cook who parties a lot and failed out of college. He seems to think she would view me as not having any ‘potential.’ What the fuck? Really? I didn’t believe him until I pretty much asked her the same in a text and she agreed with him. She was supposed to be a ‘hippie?’ Bullshit bitch, she’s apparently just like every other stuck up woman who would rather be gold-digging then actually looking for someone who would treat her right. If that’s the case, and she’s really that vain, I’m glad I gave up. I hope she's not though...I hope she's just dumb. Personally I don’t care how a woman dresses, what she does for a living, or where she lives. If she fit’s the tiny criteria and is intelligent and cultured, she could have blue hair and live in a hotel for all I give a fuck.

I’m just confused, and a little hurt, I don’t just fuck random women, I don’t do one night stands. I told her the first time we had sex that I have been in a relationship with everyone I’ve slept with, and she liked that. At least I thought she did. I don’t know how you go from talking to a person and fucking around with them for ten hours to not even wanting to see them in less then a week, Sunday-Thursday…two days of marathon sex and plenty of texting rolled in there.

To make it worse. I got drunk texting her and turned into a bawling idiot. I looked back at my messages when I woke up and went “Fuck.” I never cry…I’m like a goddamn rock…and this woman just had me crying like a baby in my fucking beer, just because she won’t even go on a single date with me. What the fuck. That date, was going to be as follows, had she agreed to it.

Last night when I got off work I was going to take a shower and go to her place and fuck her brains out, wake up and she makes me vegan pancakes (I’ve never had them and she told me she would make them for me), go for a hike with her dogs, come back for more sex, go eat at this place called Café Sunflower that was ranked one of the top 10 vegan restaurants in the country, go out for drinks, come back for more sex. Tell me that does not sound like one of the best fucking days…ever. I’d love it.

Anyway, I guess if there was a plus side she has made me want to start dating again. Also, I’m becoming the flirt I used to be. This could be a good thing…or a bad thing…considering my ‘asshole‘ nature seems to come back too.

No comments:

Post a Comment