Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Top 25 Films of the Decade

You can actually tell a lot about a person by their choice in movies. I've noticed by looking around that my list is pretty fucking different from some others I've seen. I wonder why that is...So here is my list fuckers. In no particular order (actually they are in order of release dates).

1. Snatch
I needed a film like Snatch to come out after Fight Club. You don’t understand. I needed it.

2. Wonder Boys
A smart movie with a great cast about *gasp* writers? Holy shit.

3. O Brother, Where Art Thou
Fuck you other musicals. O Brother is the reason you exist.

4. Requiem for a Dream
Disturbing, yes. Great performances, yes. Jennifer Connelly’s bush, yes.

5. Shrek
Fuck you cartoon movies that work for adults. How about a cartoon movie for adults that works for kids?

6. O
You want a Shakespeare film that will tear your heart out? Here ya go. With a cast that was nothing if not impressive.

7. Donnie Darko
A giant rabbit? Time travel? Death after losing your virginity? What?

8. Amelie
Fuck you Juno. You want a smart, simple film with a wonderfully cute lead star? Here ya go.

9. 28 Days Later
Thank you for re-inventing the zombie genre. Thank you for bringing horror films back. Thank you for being fucked up.

10. The Salton Sea
You want the vest Val Kilmer performance since Willow? How about the best performance of Vincent D’Onofrio since Full Metal Jacket? How about a wonderful performance from Peter Sarsgaard? How about if they are all meth heads and you watch a great detective story? Cool.

11. Old Boy
You want a movie that ends with you scratching your head and wondering just how perverted and fucked up the world is? Here ya go.

12. Ong-Bak
Tony Jaa is the future of martial arts. Tony Jaa has reinvented the martial arts genre. Tony Jaa must be some kind of god to pull off the shit he does.

13. Garden State
One of two romantic movies I own. One of two soundtracks I possess. Probably the greatest actress of my generation working off one of the most original scripts in awhile.

14. Saw
Whether you like it or not Saw reinvented the horror genre and pushed the limits of what is acceptable.

15. Shaun of the Dead
Finally a parody of films made by geeks for geeks. Even better? Zombie films.

16. The Notebook
Few movies make me cry and fuck you this movie makes me cry. Not to mention I feel that it could quite possibly be one of the best love stories ever. With the most perfectly compatible on screen couple.

17. Night Watch
What’s that? Fuck you Hollywood the Russians can do your mutant/superhero movies better than you can? That’s cool.

18. A History of Violence
Wait…so you can have a pretty brutally graphic film and also make it a great one at that? No way. Real actors who can, you know, act and still throat stomp the fuck outta someone? One of the best sex scenes and likely one of the most painfully realistic? Nice.

19. Serenity
*sniff* So many TV series have tried to branch over into film and they all fail miserably. I don’t care if you think you can find something better. Few series’ had the devoted audience that “Firefly” had, to turn it into a movie was to merely say “Thank you” to them but I have to say, “No, thank you for letting us see the crew and ship one last time.”

20. The Departed
Wait a minute. Leonardo Dicaprio isn’t a little bitch? Wait a minute…he can play a badass? Get the fuck outta here. Look at the rest of that cast too. Did Martin Sheen just swan dive off the top of a building and go splat right in front of Leo? Does Mark Wahlberg have a gun in front of Matt Damons face? Suck it Jason Bourne.

21. Children of Men
Have you seen this movie? Have you seen it? If you have I don’t really need to say anything else.

22. Half Nelson
Because sometimes even the good guys are bad guys and yet still good.

23. 300
Name a movie that has visually changed film this much since The Matrix. Go ahead…I’ll wait.

24. Taken
Not only did this film show that Liam Neeson is still alive. But it is basically a giant fuck you to the Bourne and Bond movies because here is a movie made for likely half of those budgets, with an actor much older, that still kicks the shit out of both of them. Which just goes to show you that no matter how much money you throw at something doesn’t mean it is going to be quality.

25. Avatar
What Star Wars was for me growing up. Should Cameron actually turn this into a trilogy. I can see this becoming the Star Wars of future generations. In a few more years visually the newcomers will give two shits about Star Wars. Ask a young adult now what the best gangster flick is and they will likely tell you Scarface not The Godfather. In another ten years it will be Avatar as the best sci-fi series, not Star Wars. Avatar will simply appeal to them more.

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