I Think My Mind Is Slipping

Man, I feel like I got ran over by a dump truck, set on fire, then pissed on to douse the flames. Seriously. I woke up today (after an insane night of drinking) with a cramp in my calf muscle that still hurts now. I have a skinned knee from where I fell down drunk two nights ago. My other knee and elbow are bruised and I have no idea how that happened. My head hurts (think hangover), my lungs hurt (think smoking a new pack of cigarettes in three hours), and for some reason my shoulders are sore as fuck. I feel like I’m falling apart.

On a plus side I got a Dawn of the Dead on DVD, I’m reading A Practical Guide to Racism (slow read, not really a page turner just something to read when you’re taking a shit or in-between commercials) and its my weekend. I say “my weekend” because its my days off from work today and tomorrow.

Of course, that may not be my job for much longer. I was supposed to have a job interview on Saturday but due to weather I wasn’t able to meet up. Its working at NTB. My brother in law works there and he wants me to get a job as a night driver. Mon-Thur 9pm-7am. Why would I want it? I am really, really fucking tired of being broke. It’s a pay raise from $10 to $13 an hour. It’s a guaranteed 40 hours a week. I get Friday, Saturday, and Sunday off. Did I mention I will literally be making double what I make now? I have $19 bucks to spend for the whole goddamn week. $19 bucks. I might as well be fucking homeless, they make more money then me.

I’m missing the Jibette. She took a trip this weekend. I know that’s retarded, but I look forward to chatting with her. As I’ve said…highlight of my day.

I’ve been wanting to write, can’t seem to do it, can’t seem to get anything to flow. I couldn’t even write a blog last week. Every time I came home from work I would want to write one, then I couldn’t. Weird. I hate writers block. Even though I was able to write recently I’ve still had a block for over a year now. I wish there was some cure for that. I’ve tried music, movies, books. I’ve tried exercising, going outdoors, staying inside. Nothing fucking works. Bullshit.

Ahhhahahaha Zombie Baby. I love it. Have you ever noticed how good of an actor Mekhi Phifer is? I wonder why he doesn’t get more roles. Then again, I wonder why he doesn’t get better roles. Even his little part in Dawn of the Dead was fantastic, he plays crazy well, think O. Well, I guess not so much crazy as he plays a person who snaps well.

I have no idea what I’m going to do tonight. May go over to the parents house for a minute. I don’t think I’m going to go to the bar. I hate going out when I have no money, it just pissed me off. The lack of funds means I also don’t get to go see Pandorum and it would prevent me from seeing Zombieland if my dad hadn’t already asked me if I want to go. That was nice. Otherwise I would have to wait a week before I’d get to see it.

I guess I’m done now.