#14 The Walking Dead: Book Three

If Two was boring the writers must have figured that out and gone balls to the wall with three. Three was, in fact, so good that I almost wanted to skip writing this just so I could read Four. Which, in turn, would have disappointed me knowing that I don’t have Five to read and would also upset me that I would even have to wait to begin with. Kind of like when I got into Harry Potter. I read all of the books in a row up to three and then found myself waiting and pacing the floor until the others came out and I could read the new book in a day. Of course, Rowling also took her fucking sweet ass time. But it’s allowed, because she’s pretty and has an English accent. The wait with The Walking Dead is the comics have to come out before the hardcover can make its appearance. Balls. Anyway, I can’t even think of where to begin this review. It has a bunch of things that I fucking love…not so much that I hate…and makes me think of so many other possibilities of where this story can go.


They finally get the prison cleaned out and are preparing to spread out. Essentially so everyone can have their own “house.” While doing so, as I stated with the electricity thing, they come across a generator. What does a generator need? Gas. So they decide to try and siphon some from the cars outside of the prison. While doing so they see a helicopter go down. A helicopter! Holy shit! Let’s go for it. So Rick, Glenn, and Michonne take off after it. Meanwhile, back at the Prison…Carol (who is nuts after Tyreese left her for Michonne) tries to set up some weird lesbian/”Big Love” type setting asking Lori if her and Rick will marry her. Odd…to say the least, but it is obvious that she is the type of person that can‘t survive along (pretty much she needs an Alpha Male). Cue back to the group going after the helicopter because I really don’t care for the soap opera shit going on at the prison. Really. The only aspects of the “soap opera” that I can understand is the pairing off. Imagine if you are in a group of 15 people. Seven of the women and seven of the men have paired themselves off as couples. That leaves you…all alone. I can imagine how that would drive a person nuts. The last thing you would want is to be alone…in a world of fucking zombies. True, you are not alone in the most empirical sense, but as far as emotionally? You might as well go ahead and pack up the loony bus. Of course, this is just my personal opinion. I’m sure there are people out there who wouldn’t really give a fuck if during a zombie apocalypse they didn’t have someone to sleep with at night, someone to have sex with to feel alive, someone to look at them and make them feel needed. If you are one of these people. Go you. I don’t think I could take it. There are some aspects of this soap opera that I really hate though, especially anything to do with Lori because I really wish she’d died a long time ago. I can’t stand her. At all. She fucking complains about everything. Everything! Many times in The Walking Dead they try to pass this off as hormones from her being pregnant. I fucking say bullshit. She cheated on her husband (and likely got pregnant from said encounter) less then a month after the zombie shit started. She complains every time the group makes a new decision, every time her husband goes out for the good of the group, and every time someone says something against her opinion. I don’t just mean complain, complain is likely not a strong enough word. She bitches, like yells and throws a temper tantrum bitches. Fuck her. So the group gets to the helicopter to find it deserted and follow the tracks until they are captured. Captured by…The Governor.

This is the part of zombie tales that I fucking love. The bad guy. Not just the bad guy…“THE” bad guy. The group is taken to, essentially, a small town. The Governor runs said town. Where he has fights for the crowds (think gladiators), rapes women, mutilates and tortures, keeps his daughter as a zombie pet (whom he feeds body parts from those he mutilates and tortures), and goes to sleep staring at a collection of heads from those he’s killed. The dude is Grade A Nuts. He makes the leader of the soldiers in 28 Days Later look like a pussy. He makes fucking Humungus from The Road Warrior look like a baby. Well…maybe not so much in physical stature (Humungus was fucking huge), but in sheer brutality…I would say The Governor has him beat. When I was talking to ashes about the series she made sure to point out The Governor. She basically conveyed that she didn’t like him and that he was an asshole. I think that was being nice. I don’t want to give away too much but I will say the majority of his brutality goes against Michonne. Because Michonne is female you can only imagine what I’m talking about here. I will say though that she gets some revenge, I won’t give away much but at one point it involves hammering his dick with a nail into a board. No lie…I seriously didn’t give much away there.

Where Book Two started doing the Man vs. Man thing that I was talking about. This, is the Man vs. Man part of apocalypse stories that I love. I like when they show the exact opposite. When you’ve been following this group that is trying to remain civil, human, and they come across that group that is anything but. In some stories this is the group that has resorted to cannibalism. In others it’s the one that rides around on motorcycles (I’m looking at you Dawn of the Dead…the original that is). The group that rapes and pillages (check pretty much every gang in The Road and as stated previously The Road Warrior). The group that only wants power and domination (pretty much everyone listed…throw The Book of Eli in there). It’s the group that doesn’t negotiate, that takes what they want, and that kills everyone in their way. They don’t care about humanity, they don’t care if anyone else survives, they are out for themselves and that’s it.

I always wonder which one of these groups I would belong to. Would I put my neck out for total strangers? Or would I simply go out for myself? I suppose this is a question everyone would have to ask themselves.

The pictures, as they appear, are of Tyreese, Michonne, and The Governor.