Monday, September 27, 2010

Typing On Pain Killers Makes For Fuzzy Words

So…here’s the deal.

Two weeks ago my throat fucked itself. I woke up with a fever, body aches, and the almost complete inability to swallow. My parental units forced me to go to the Minute Clinic to find out what was wrong. $92 for this lady to tell me I had strep…which I already knew. Tack on another $20 for the prescription for the antibiotics.

Did I get better? No…I got worse.

The week after I got off the antibiotics: My throat is still fucked. Every time I swallow I feel like what I’m drinking is going up my nose.

Cue to two days ago: I woke up to a slight pain in my throat, different from the whole not being able to swallow thing I was experiencing. Although I was able to swallow again.

One day ago: I wake up after three hours of sleep. That slight pain has now become a sharp pain that is encompassing my throat, jaw, and right ear.

Last night: Another three hours of sleep, only this time the sharp pain has become excruciating. Plus, the ability to not swallow is back.

On top of all of this I have had heartburn like a motherfucker. Like…wake up to take a pill, only to turn around and wake up a few hours later to chew some tums, only to wake up again to take another pill…bad.

So this morning I go back to the Minute Clinic, I wait an hour and a half, and the doctor tells me that she can’t help me. I need to go to my family doctor (who is $140 just to see her), or go to Urgent Care.

I go to Urgent Care. Before the doctor even sees me I’m out $107. On a plus side I don’t wait long, I’m in the back within 10 minutes. The doctor does her own strep test, I get a steroid shot, she writes me three prescriptions. Pain pills, steroids, stronger antibiotics. Then she realizes I don’t have health insurance. So she gives me some free samples of the antibiotics, doesn’t charge me for the strep test, and gives me a $15 off coupon for the antibiotics. Then I’m out another $32.20. By the way, I don’t have strep.

I go to the pharmacy to fill the prescriptions. $185 for 5 pills. The pain pills and steroids tack on another $8 and $6. When they realize I don’t have insurance the pharmacy gives me a discount, plus the $15 off coupon, which drops those antibiotics down to $135. Now, before you think about it, I’m allergic to amoxicillin and penicillin…pretty much eliminating any free antibiotics I can get. Oh, my mother also tells me why I’m allergic to amoxicillin. Doctors did it when I was 3. They had me taking it for almost a year, which fucked me up.

So the first time I get sick in over a year and its cost me $400. In fact, today alone just took my entire paycheck. Yes, my job doesn’t pay well. Yes, my hours got cut recently. Still…what the fuck?

A highlight through the sickness? I’ve gone on a few dates with this girl…who is…kinda awesome. In fact, the video was filmed on our first un-date date.

In other news...writing while doped on pain pills is...interesting.


  1. Well damn. She's super cute. Heh.


  2. Can't see the video, but I nearly fell off my chair when you said how much it costs' to go and see a fucking doctor! That's disgusting.