Life At A Distance

It’s been a minute huh? I guess because I haven’t had anything that I’ve really wanted to talk about. Even though my life is pretty much a ball of shit right now I’m actually not depressed…so I guess I can be thankful for that. Just give it a little while, I’ll be back to my sad self in no time.

Community service fucking sucks. 40 hrs for a sunburn. I dug trenches, cleaned culverts, raked leaves, mowed an entire estate with a push mower, made a gravel road…etc. Pain in the fucking ass.

I went to court for my DUI and started my job on the same day 4/20. Great day huh? I not only lost my license, I was told I can’t drink…but hey, at least I started a new job where I actually have the money to go out again! Woohoo! Oh wait, the only way I can go out is if I get a ride…and then I can’t drink. So who wants to go to a bar with me, where I can’t drink, but I also can’t DD you home if you decide to drink? Anyone? Anyone? Fuck. On the plus side I have money building up. Which I can use to complete my tattoos, put aside for school (which I think I may e-mail tomorrow to see the steps I have to take to get back in in the fall), pay off this nice DUI debt, and possibly save up to get a house (this is a BIG maybe). Not to mention the counseling I’ve been required to take.

The job however, is something I don’t want to do. I basically went back to my old job…as a cook. So I lost my job when the restaurant closed, thinking I would find a career that I would actually enjoy doing, only to find nothing and have to go back to what I was doing. Balls. At least I have money coming in though. As we all know, money not only buys you happiness, it also makes the world go round.

For some reason today I remembered what it was like being a kid. Being able to get of the bus and trash the neighborhood. Not having a care in the world because mommy and daddy would take care of everything. If I wanted to go to the movies money was placed in my hand (I might have had to mow the yard). Then again, the only thing I cared about then was just hanging out with my friends. We didn’t go to bars. We didn’t go to clubs. It didn’t cost us anything to chill on a fucking street corner all afternoon until it was time to go home…and we were fine with that. We were fine with our street corner (even if the owner of the property that the street corner resided on wasn‘t). We were cool with staring at the cars as they passed by. Content with passing the time discussing the girls in school we wished we could sleep with but were never given the time of day. Talking about baseball (or football depending on the time of year). We could pass the time telling stories that were 90% fictional but wished were true. Talking about music as if we actually knew what the hell we were talking about. Discussing the movie we saw the night before that almost had full frontal nudity. If we felt adventurous it was time to wrap or egg a house, hop on our bicycles and head for the park a mile away…a quick trip to the local coffee shop. Not a care in the goddamn world (except fucking that illusive popular girl, or worrying about grades).

Why did that have to change? Why are we expected to grow up? Why is life all about job, money, possessions…what happened to living? Why is it that we are basically required to devote our entire life to something that really doesn’t matter? Stupid questions I guess…but I just wonder what happened to the days where people grew their own food, built their own house…lived…for themselves and not to sustain other people.


Which got me thinking. I always wanted to take a trip across Europe when I graduated from college. If I go back (which is looking almost guaranteed…what else am I going to do?) I think I may change that graduation trip. I was remembering earlier reading travel logs in several of my English classes and I had an epiphany. I’m thinking of road tripping across the country. Yeah, I’ve been to most of the states but I mean actually road tripping…not just driving straight through them. Hitting the big cities and spending more time along the smaller ones. The goal will be to write a blog, I suppose on this one, that chronicles my journey. At the end of it I’ll write a book about it. What I really want to do is see how the perspectives of this country has changed. Particularly through the eyes of a 30 something. Now granted, if I do this next year, I’ll only be 29...but that’s a small problem right? I suppose I can interview people in each state, both the big cities and the smaller ones for their perspective/ideas. From East Coast to West Coast and back to East. Even if I don’t interview anyone I’m a good enough people watcher, plus I can see different styles, etc.

Who knows…maybe even hit Canada a little. I guess I really just want to see how our country actually runs. If geography actually matters at all. If there is anyone out there like me.

Anyone wanna join me?